Tag Archives: cancersucks

April 30, 2018 · 9:20 pm

#61 Another Revision!

Well, my surgery went well…the left breast implant was removed along with all the excess radiated skin……so much for a “skin sparring Mastectomy ! I feel I should have blogged earlier but I kept thinking, I will blog after this post op appointment. However to date I have had three follow-up appointments. My surgeon kept my drainage tube in for two weeks because at my first post op the daily fluid output was more than 25cc’s.

On April 16th, I had my annual Bone Density and a CT of the lungs for that little nodule that the doctors have been monitoring. Well GREAT news, my Oncologist, Dr. Ho from the Palm Springs Comprehensive Cancer Center told me that the nodule is stable and has not grown, he will continue to monitor it annually. And my DEXA (Bone Density Test) is also good…I was so happy with that news!

On April 20th, my sidekick (drainage tube) was removed. However that week my incision where it all joins started to seep and open! REALLY could this possibly be happening again! My Plastic Surgeon wanted me back the following week to keep a close eye on it. Which that appointment was just last week on April 27th.

I would like to back up to April 25th. On the 25th, my husband and I celebrated 31 years of marriage! I love you Jack with all my heart, thank you for always being there for me, for accompanying to all my appointments when work permitted….my story is not over, I am looking forward to many years with you, looking forward to our week on Maui!

Ok, back to my appointment on the 27th. After Dr. Eko looked at the area he looked at me and said that he would need to do Another Revision. At this point, seriously my heart just sank! Of coarse I asked exactly what he planned on doing, Dr. Eko went on to describe the procedure. My husband and I waiting in the examination as they prepared the Procedure Room for me.

After administering plenty of Lidocaine he removed select staples in the trifurcation area. (I will be posting pictures, just do not scroll down if you do not wish to see them.) Slithers of irradiated skin was removed, then it was sutured. It was surreal, the area was well numbed up, but thru my body I could hear and feel (without pain) every stitch! My body was shaking uncontrollably, they covered my with a blanket….this was a pretty invasive procedure done in the office…my plastic surgeon and his wonderful M.A., Angelica made sure I was comfortable. My husband was in the room, a couple of times the blanket came off my feet and he tucked the blanket under my feet. It was nice having my husband in the room, Dr. Eko played smooth Jazz during the procedure, which was also very relaxing.

What’s next? I had a follow up appointment today April 30th, it went well. I am instructed not to lift my left arm above my head so the it doesn’t tug on trifurcation area. The doctor (and I) want this to heal!!! My husband and I will be going to Maui for one week, I will not be getting in the ocean, other than my feet….just plan on relaxing and visiting my Maui Ohana!

Microblading, on Wednesday May 2nd I will be getting my eye brows microbladed. Yes, the hair on my head has returned post chemo, however I have little to no eye brows! I will have to wear a hat while in Maui, which I’m okay with…just looking forward to not having to paint on my eye brows every morning to look normal! So grateful to the gals from the Cos Bar in Wailea that took the time to teach my how to apply my Tom Ford Eye Brow Kit.

****************************** SENSITIVE PICTURES BELOW************************

On a daily basis my family stripped and documented the amount of fluid out put for two weeks until the drain was removed. Post op, my son Cisco took days from work and stayed home with me… he did really good, he only gaged once when some fibrous tissue was in the fluid!

Damm, It looks like I had a “Radical Mastectomy”!

Here it is, I struggled with the decision to post this picture ….. but this is the reality of it. The Implant was removed with all the irradiated skin. Looking at the picture above my head is to the right with the tube going down. The stapled area that goes up towards my axilla (armpit) is that darken circle that is seen on the first picture… that skin was removed, hence this result. The following picture was taken on April 27th, you will notice that the staples where it all trifurcates are gone. That is because on April 20th the plastic surgeon removed them, at this point they were obviously just irritating the area. The area didn’t close which is why Another Revision was necessary.

I don’t have an after picture of the revision…my husband says it looks good, he has been doing the dressing changes, he has become quite the wound care specialist! I have instructions not to lift my arms above my head

My next follow up appointment, is on Monday April 14th. I will keep everyone posted with a shorter blog……I promise. If you have read to this point, many thank yous for taking the time out of your day to read my blog.

Pina

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June 21, 2017 · 5:16 pm

52 & 53: Reconstruction

I’ve never been one for selfies but I wanted to share how much my hair has grown and how curly it is! My hair BC (before cancer) was curly but not as curly as this…. I will take what I get as some women that were given Taxotere are not getting hair growth back.

June 20th marked one year since my last Radiation Treatment, I had a total of 29 rounds to the Left chest wall at The Pacific Cancer Institute on the island of Maui, from May 11th to June 20th. The plan all along has been to do delayed reconstruction. My team at PCI thoroughly explained skin care to me which I followed to a tee. The week after I started Radiation treatment I was referred to a physical therapist for John Barnes’ myofascial release technique massage. I saw my therapist twice weekly thru the month of July 2016. I was also prescribed Mometasone Cream for me to “gently” apply post treatment. Hence, my skin flap is pliable, and not hardened.

These pictures are of just two types of reconstruction surgery known as Autologous of “Flap” Reconstruction. This is not the type of surgery I will have but the surgeon did go over the details of these two types of surgery. Reason being, IF my body rejects the Implant Reconstruction, this is “Plan B”. I will pray that my body does not reject the implants as these surgeries are more invasive.

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53: A Show and Tell Moment

In February of this year at my first meeting with my Plastic Surgeon he gave me homework. He wanted me to research as to how many cc’s I wanted my implants to be. I told him on how before cancer my breast were not symmetrical, my left breast was larger than my right breast. Although this was not noticeable with clothes on, I was limited to style of bras and swimsuits because of this. So, I told him I wanted them to asymmetrical (same size)…..he smiled and said he can do that. My husband chimed in and asked the surgeon if he can place a set on my back so he would have something to hold on to when we slow danced!!!!! We burst into laughter….got to love my husbands sense of humor!!! ( I hope this doesn’t offend anyone)

So, how does one determine reconstruction size? You google it, Pinterest it, or simply ask a friend! I was at the Cancer Center talking to my good friend and fellow Mammography Technologist Extraordinaire. I mentioned my dilemma to her, before I know it Catherina and I are in the bathroom for A Show and Tell Moment. She was quite impressed with how pliable my skin sparring mastectomy is, as Mammographers we are oh too familiar with what a post radiated breast can look like. She showed me her implants and her size, decision made, I will shoot for a “C” cup! I also have to keep in mind and make it clear to my readers that mine is a “reconstruction, post mastectomy” and not a “breast augmentation”, so end result can vary…..I will have no nipples, they can get tattooed on later!

Exactly what is a Modified Radical Mastectomy, Skin Sparing? Basically my nipple was removed (I opted for non-nipple sparring) along with all the breast tissue. For those of you that have been following my blog from the beginning, you will recall that the Breast MRI that was done when I was first diagnosed found an additional cancer on my left breast, 4mm away from the fascia of the chest wall, straight back from the nipple at clock face 12:00. What is left behind is a deflated breast, all my breast skin was sparred minus the glandular tissue…….I have a deflated boob.

I was in Redlands last week signing a release of medical records for my primary doctor in Palm Springs, he wants surgical notes of my Hysterectomy/Oophorectomy from 2009. (I sure am missing a lot of parts now!!). I stopped in at the Women’s Health Imaging Center to say hello to Renee, we chatted a bit about my blog amongst other things. I showed Renee this picture and how I wanted to share what a “skin sparring” mastectomy was. I took this the above picture after doing my exercises, I was cooling down, stretching. But I wanted to show more, I wanted to share the actual skin flap.

So what does a good friend do….offer to take photos for your blog!!! Renee and I quickly go into one of the mammography room, off comes my blouse, bra and Betty (that’s my prosthesis name) another Show and Tell Moment! Mahalo Renee for taking these pictures for me on a whim!

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Needless to say, I am ready for reconstruction. Today June 21st I went to the Plastic Surgeons office, the appointment went well. My husband Jack was with me. There was a moment of laughter when the topic of the prophylactic mastectomy was discussed, the surgeon asked if I was going to spare (keep) the right nipple? I said no, I don’t want to be like a one-eyed pirate when the nipple is hard! I closed one eye and said “arrrrggg”, the surgeon laughed……it was a funny moment. So what’s next? The Breast Surgeon’s office will be contacting me to schedule labs, chest x-ray and an EKG. The surgery will then be scheduled. The Breast Surgeon Dr. Laura Lee will do the Right Prophylactic Mastectomy and the Plastic Surgeon will be doing the reconstruction placing the expanders. Post operative I will have four drains, two on each side. Two of them come off one week post-op. The other two come off after the fluid drainage has subsided. Expanders will be expanded every week until desired fullness is obtained. Then, three months later, like in December sometime the expanders will be switched out for the implants.

Holy smokes this is a long blog! If you read it to the end, many thank yous.

Mahalo, Pina

48:Time Flies!

Aloha everyone, my how Time Flies! It has been one whole month since leaving Maui back to our California home in Yucaipa. I am adjusting daily, the hardest thing has been the weather. I don’t believe there has been a day where it has reached 70 degrees! The above picture was taken last night from my home…..one can never used to how beautiful sunsets are.

I have established with my new medical team here in southern California. My new medical Oncologist is at the Cancer Center where I used to work prior to moving to Maui. I have had two appointments with him last month, the first being on February 13th. I was a bit overcome with emotion on that day, it was just surreal to walk in there as a patient and not an employee. Everyone that recognized me gave me hugs and well wishes, again the morning was rough for me. I really like my new Oncologist, he took the time to talk to me about my past treatment and the plan moving forward. I still have my medi-port, so he had the nurse flush it, and draw labs before I left. I have nurse visits for port flush for the next two months with my next Oncologist and labs appointment on May 25th. I established with a Primary Care Physician (PCP), also in the Palm Springs area, he ordered labs as well, I go back to see him next week to discuss the results of those labs. My PCP also asked about my decision to do a prophylactic mastectomy. My response “dense breast”. For those of you that have been reading my blog from the beginning you will recall that my breast cancer was not caught early due to the composition of my natural breast tissue. Which brings me to the picture below! Looking at the formation of those clouds reminded me of my dense breast tissue!! The white represents dense tissue and the blue representing fat. LOL….only a Mammography Technologist will look at the clouds and compare it to breast tissue!!!!…..yay, try to find a tiny cancer starting in that hot mess!

Plastic surgeon appointment:

I met with a plastic surgeon to discuss my reconstruction options. My husband was with me which words can not describe how much his presence there made a difference to me. The plastic surgeons office had an extensive questionnaire which was emailed to me and I had plenty of time to properly fill it out. We talked about the options of reconstruction (which I will save for another blog)

Basically, my last Radiation Treatment was on June 20, 2016 I had 29 rounds…..so, he will not do the surgery until one year has passed from that date, giving my skin enough time to heal from the mastectomy and the radiation treatment. My next appointment with him is on June 21st, which at this time we will proceed and get the prophylactic mastectomy and reconstruction scheduled.

Mahalo for reading my blog

Pina

44:Leaving da Island

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It is hard to believe that one year has past already. This time last year I had just finished my 4th chemo treatment, which for me chemo number 4 thru 6 were the worst. With the love and support of my family I managed to get thru a very aggressive chemo cocktail that in the words of my Medical Oncologist was going to “knock me off my ass”, yes those were his words exactly! Bar none he wanted me to understand how important it was to receive all 6 treatments and not quit on him. ” For this to be successful you need all 6 treatments, this is going to knock you off your ass, you are going to want to quit, number 5 and 6 will be the worst” “Are you ready?” I was ready, and I continue to be ready for anything that is thrown my way!

With that being said, I am home early today from work to prepare for a follow-up Colonoscopy. In February 2015, six months before my Breast Cancer diagnosis I had my baseline Colonoscopy. The results came back that they found and removed Tubular Adenoma Polyps. Because those are the kind that can turn into a cancer, I get to repeat my exam. I was supposed to have it done in February, I was given a pre-op appointment in November 2015 for a Colonoscopy in February 2016! The problem was that I was too ill from chemo #4 to leave my home to keep the pre-op appointment. I then asked my primary doctor if I can just wait till I was thru with chemo, surgery and radiation treatment before revisiting the whole repeat colonoscopy exam! Not exactly my favorite exam, the prep is the worst. Hence my appointment is tomorrow morning.

Leaving da island

For those of you who know me personally, you know that my husband works all over the map. However since May of this year his job has kept him on the mainland. After the expense of staying on the island of Oahu, post mastectomy in March, I have been contemplating going back to the mainland for the next phase of my surgery. However, now that my husband is indefinitely working near our home in California it is no longer practical for me to remain on paradise without my husband. My prophylactic mastectomy and reconstruction will be done in Palm Springs where I used to work. I will not be returning to Maui to work after being released.

I have given my employer notice, my last day working at MDI will sadly be on January 27th. I will keep my Oahu appointments in early January. January 11th, 12th, 13th I will have multiple appointments which include Chest CT and Bone Scan, Medical Oncologist and a follow-up Dr. Nakashizuka.

Today is the 75th anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor by Japan. Living and working here on Maui, I have met people who remember that day, or have been told stories by their aunties and uncles of that “infamous day”. Prayers to the people of Hawaii and descendants of people lost on December 7, 1941. Mahalo to all military personnel over the generations. Today also marks my fathers birthday, if he were alive he would have turned 88 today.

Mahalo for reading my blog

Pina

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October 23, 2016 · 8:46 am

42: RIP Bert

fullsizerender

At 615 pm Pacific Standard time my 56 year old sister Bert passed away from Stage lV Breast Cancer. My sister and I were diagnosed a little over a month apart. I was Stage lll, she was Stage lV. I chose to fight, she did not. I tried to talk her into changing her mind and to do treatment, ( told her we could be chemo buddies) but she did not want to. The doctors last year told her she would have about 2 months to live without treatment, which meant she would not make it past October 2015. I did Chemo, had surgery, then did Radiation Treatment, one full year of Herceptin Infusions, she chose to be medicated and wait for death. I get angry at times, especially with everything the family has had to endure because of her decision not to seek treatment. Family will do everything for a loved one, but when someone does not want to help themselves that task is challenging . The past couple of months have been especially hard for my family having my sister at home. The day-to-day challenges of keeping my sister from falling, cleaning her up after uncontrollable incontinence. My sister was not herself anymore, she could not feed herself, she had been falling down, bruises all over her body from the falls. Social Services determined that it was time for a nursing home. She was placed in a nursing home in Yucaipa, ten days later she is gone.

In July when I went to visit my sister I had asked her if she regretted her decision not to do have treatment. With out hesitation she said “No”. She did tell me that she regretted letting them do the mastectomy. I described to her what would have happened to her breast if she refused the mastectomy. She just stared at me, she really didn’t respond. I think my sister had this vision that she would just close her eyes and pass. She did not think she would last a whole year after being told two months. None of us did.

To my sister Bert: I am so sorry that you were so unhappy on this earth that all you wanted to do was depart from it. I am sorry that you always referred to yourself as the black sheep of the family. I am sorry for the years that you alienated yourself from the family, you had your reasons for choosing to be distant. I am sorry that you did not love life enough to want to fight for it. You leave behind a beautiful daughter that is loved by everyone. You are free now, free of pain, free of cancer. I have been praying for you and will continue to. You are now with our other family members that have passed before us, rest in peace, God bless.

This morning here on Maui I did a 3 mile walk for breast cancer. It was the second annual Spirit of Aloha walk against Breast Cancer. On the walk I ran into a friend that used to work for MDI. Adele and I talked for a little bit on the path, it was really nice running into her, she later then invited me over to a luncheon at a friends house. It just so happened that I did mammograms on three of the ladies at this luncheon. This group of ladies were amazing, I had opened up to them about my story, and the knew about my sister. I was at this luncheon when I got the news about Bert passing away. I am glad that I was not alone when I found out. It was meant for me to run into Adele, so that she would invite me to this luncheon. A couple of hours ago I received a phone call from Brian Burns the founder of this mornings Breast Cancer walk. He called to tell me that I won the “Grand Prize”, REALLY? What an emotional day!

I won a two night stay at The Wailea Beach Marriott Resort & Spa! I received Brians phone call just hours after Berts passing. I told Brian that perhaps my sisters spirit had something to do with me winning the grand prize!

Mahalo for reading my blog.

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October 11, 2016 · 4:08 pm

41: Maui to Lana’i and Back !

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When I signed up for this voyage I was a little apprehensive about it…to say the least. But I really wanted to do something significant to celebrate my successful feat in conquering each obstacle this past year. Chemo therapy was no joke, with each treatment I was sicker and sicker, then came surgery . With the help of amazing Physical Therapist, and my personal daughter nurse Mo with me, I recovered seamlessly. Then came Radiation Therapy, again by following doctors instructions on skin care to a tee in addition to Physical Therapy, the Myofascial release, followed by Lymphatic massage has been a god send. One full year of Herceptin infusion completed……..I am officially done with treatment! How do I say farewell to this past year? I signed up to take part in The Pacific Cancer Foundations “Paddle for Life” “Voyage to Lana’i” fundraiser!

First and foremost, much mahalo to those who contributed to my cause, I am beyond appreciative. Love and support is not just monetary contribution to my cause. The past year I have received many cards (via mail), text messages of support, voicemails left on my cell phone, family coming to Maui, patients that I have imaged inquiring about me. I could go on and on. I truly feel so much love and support from everyone….I am blessed.

The Voyage :

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My day started with a 330am alarm. By 445am I was at our bus pick up location at Maalea Harbor, which took us to the West side of the island. I was not launching off, so therefor I was at the boat ramp. We were taken to our support boat via a zodiac boat. One the first six man exchange I was put in. You transfer in the open ocean from you support boat to the zodiac then to the canoe. I was really out of comfort zone but with the help and encouragement of my team and the boat support team I managed to transfer….no fear! (It’s not like I can say “God, please make the waves stop so I can transfer without the ocean moving”) I did it I am so proud of myself! Kept telling myself “I beat cancer I can do this”. Being in that canoe in the open ocean was intense on the way to Lana’i, the waves were intense, it was beyond exhilarating !!!! After a couple of exchanges I was put in to be part the landing crew. Paddlers in the launch and landing are survivors. Since I didn’t get to launch I got to land. Coming just past that rock that I never thought we would reach was so emotional. Our captain Linda T.A. had us stop just before coming in and said some encouraging words to each one of us, we were the last canoe in. All the other paddlers were lined up at the beach, I could just see and hear the cheer coming from everyone one the beach as we landed. To follow Hawaiian tradition when you land on another island, permission is granted, then you present gifts after Hawaiian chants and prayers. Each paddler presented gifts to the people of Lana’i. We were given Taro plants, and roots to present to them one by one……all 300 plus paddlers!! It was a beautiful ceremony.

We were provided lunch, by Hard Rock Cafe. After eating those of us that were camping needed to set up camp before the sunset. We were provided tents to pitch….pink tents!! I don’t remember the last time I camped in a tent! Some paddlers opted to stay at the Four Seasons or the Lana’i Hotel, I believe those were you only options. I opted to camp.

I pitched my tent and then went a little hike up to “sweetheart rock” with a fellow paddler and friend Flora.

This is the rock that when paddling into Hulopoe Beach at Manele Bay I thought we would never reach! The view was so beautiful! Dinner was provided by Nalus , I believe they also provided our breakfast Sunday morning as well. A small group of us wanted to ride to visit Lana’i city. We piled into my team captains car and she took us to visit some sites on the island before going into the very small “Lana’i city”. Here is a picture of us by “Jax” which are large concrete barriers in the shape of jax. They create an ocean break where the barges come in for deliveries of containers.

Sunday morning come oh so fast, sleeping on the ground was not very comfortable, especially being sore from paddling. By 630am our tents had to be down and packed, our bags with our belongs with our team had to be taken to our specific support boat. We had breakfast, 10 minute yoga stretch , morning prayers and chants in Hawaiian, songs were sang it was truly beautiful. I again did not get to be part of the launching crew, but we did get to see the launch before going to the boat harbor to our designated support boat.

A total of twenty-four canoes entered the water…and they were off. On the first six man exchange I was put in. Again transferring was a bit intimidating for me but I did it! It was blazing hot, the ocean was calm and our support boat captain turned the motor off and said we could jump in the ocean if we wanted. I jumped!!!! We had a rope to hold onto so we would not drift far, you bet I held onto that rope. It was so refreshing to jump in for that moment. There was going to be a couple of exchanges before I went back in so I grabbed my camera and took some photos. dscn0847

This is a picture of the zodiac coming toward our support boat to pick us up for another exchange. I was put in, and from what I understand the distance was another 3.8 miles away from Maui. Once in the canoe, you are paddling with strength that you did not know you had. No more exchanges, we were taking this canoe in!! Our steersman Buck was very encouraging, telling us that we were survivors and we could do this!! “Stroke, stroke, stroke” he shouted periodically, “timing people”, “stay focused, you can do this”, “stoke, stroke, stroke my matees! Our support zodiac came over to us to make sure that we were all ok to “ironman” in, we were given small water bottles in case there was not any at the beach waiting for us.

To describe the beauty of Maui from the ocean is impossible. We were so far out that you could not even see the beaches of the West side or the high rise resort hotels of Ka anapali. It was blue ocean, the verdant westside of Maui topped off with blue skies and scattered clouds that looked like a halo over an angel. Purely breath taking. As we got closer to Maui, we could see the resorts, with each stroke we got closer, but it seemed to take forever. The end was near as we got closer and closer, we could see that the rest of our team was in the water waiting to help us bring this canoe in. We landed!!!

This voyage was beyond amazing, never did I imagine that one day I would be part of a team to paddle from one island to another. Doing this was physically and mentally challenging. It was both spiritual and emotional for me sometimes bringing tears to my eyes thinking of the past year….. but that is exactly what it is now…in the past. Time to focus on the the next phase.

Much Mahalo and love to the Pink Paddlers for being so welcoming, you are an exceptional group. I can not believe that this much anticipated event is over, I am so glad I did this.

Much Mahalo and love for taking the time to read my blog. Pina

36: Happy Birthday Bert

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For those of you that have been following my blog from the beginning, you know that about 5 weeks before my Stage lll Breast Cancer diagnosis last year, that one of my sisters was diagnosed with Stage lV. My sister did not choose to do treatment, for personal reasons that I personally can not comprehend, she chose hospice instead. I have and continue to respect her decision. I would also like to mention that I am talking about my sister with her permission to do so.

The doctors told my sister that without treatment she would not have long and we thought she would only live till October 2015. The holidays came and went, and now one year has passed and my sister is still with us. Most recently her condition has declined. Nurse visits from hospice have increased, her pain meds have also increased.

The past year I have had the fight of my life, I started and finished the 6 sounds of the very aggressive Chemotherapy regiment for Stage lll and lV breast cancer. I had my modified mastectomy (skin sparring for delayed reconstruction), I started and finished 29 sessions of radiation treatment. I have faithfully stayed out of direct sunlight and the ocean (really hard to do on Maui). All the while, working through this with exception for medical leave after my surgery. I have been focused and determined…….then I think of my sister. Yes, sometimes it angers me that she did not choose to fight. I run through my head “is there something I could have done to convince my sister to do treatment”? I know from talking about this at a support group I attend that the answer is no. My sisters decision was made up, nothing we could have done would change her mind.

I flew to California for the 4th of July weekend. My cousins gave one of my aunties a seventies themed birthday party. (can you guess how old she turned) I took the opportunity that I was feeling well enough to travel and surprised the family!

tia Marta

Visiting with my sister Bert, we talked about our mastectomy surgeries, she shared with me about her condition, details that I will keep private. We talked about hospice, my sister is in pain….we talked about the pain meds that she is given and the need for the meds to be increased to keep her comfortable. I asked her if she regretted her decision not to do treatment, she said no.

I feel for my mom, that she will have to endure the passing of one of her children before her. I feel for my niece, that she is having to care for her dying mother, because her mother wants to die. What do you tell someone who wants to die? Bert cried as she told me she just doesn’t want to wake up, and that it is taking so long to happen. She said, she can’t imagine living in this pain much longer!!! So, what do you say? “I will pray that you pass away soon”? ….my sister shouldn’t be in pain….but I think she is afraid of the stronger pain meds that she is in need of now. I told her that the purpose of hospice is to keep you comfortable.

Tomorrow is my sister’s birthday! Happy Birthday BERT!!! I wish you a Happy Happy Birthday free of pain….and though it pains me to say this I pray that you are at peace with your decision and that soon you will be FREE. God Bless……..Love Pina

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Tagged as breastcancerjouney, cancersucks, livingversesdying, righttochoose, sisterswithbreastcancer

Tag Archives: cancersucks

#61 Another Revision!

52 & 53: Reconstruction

48:Time Flies!

44:Leaving da Island

42: RIP Bert

41: Maui to Lana’i and Back !

36: Happy Birthday Bert

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