2: Hypochondriac?

July 31,2015/Friday

The Unsub wasn’t found during a monthly BSE. As I was taking a shower in the evening I noticed something different. I am familiar with what is normal for me because I do self breast exams on a monthly basis. Kind of hard not to since I encourage patients to become familiar with what is “normal” for them. Especially patients with dense breast tissue and patients with breast augmentations. After showering I did try to find the Unsub laying down, could not find it!!! So, I thought due to my 55 year old sisters recent Stage IV diagnosis I was being a Hypochondriac. Well , not the case, over the week end I could palpate the thickened area again.

August 3, 2015/Monday

At work, Maui Diagnostic Imaging , I mentioned my discovery to my supervisor. Knowing my sisters diagnosis she encouraged my to call my primary care provider (PCP) and make an appointment. Super grateful that on short notice I was able to make a keep an appointment.

Also on this day my sister made the decision not to have Chemotherapy, here TX was to start on the 4th. She wanted too proceed with her original plan and move to the island of Kauai to live with her daughter.

August 4, 2015/Tuesday

I left a little early from work to attend my appointment with my PCP. Dr. Heather Bejenaru did a clinic breast exam (CBE) and not only did she find the Unsub, but also felt it be two areas adjacent to each other . I remember her saying that it would probably be “stromal breast tissue “. She gave me an order for my Diagnostic Bilateral Mammogram and a Left Breast Ultrasound.

 I have had my annual Mammogram every year since I turned 40! When I moved to Maui July 25, 2014 I arrived with all my Mammography  history (CD’s and reports) My 2014 mammogram was done the month of December, with my CBE in November.  My report was given a BiRad 2, meaning normal findings. I remember when turned 40, being really excited about having my first (baseline) mammogram, because I could experience what I put patients thru, never did I think some day I would have breast cancer.

August 6, 2014/Thursday

My cohort and I arrived early at work so that my DX Mammo would be done before our busy schedules started . Doing the routine diagnostic views and a spot compression focusing on the area of interest. With tolerable tight compression, I expected the exposure to be short. Well, it wasn’t. The exposure was long, so I new it was trying to penetrate something? After the paddle released I went over to Acquisition Monitor and waited for the image to populate. When it did, you would think there would be something…..nope, just my thick dense breast tissue! After the Radiologist looked at the initial images taken, he requested a couple of more to be done. So, in between patients (I was doing Bone Densities) I went into the Mammo room for more images. The Ultrasound schedule for this day was packed with patients. After I talked to our Technologist for U/S, he said he would not take a lunch and scan that same day. The alternative was to wait till August 15th so that our female Technologist could scan me. Our technologist was very professional and discrete, I was not one bit uncomfortable with him as I thought I would be. One of the bad things about it was that I new when I saw the images that it looked “highly suspicious”…….So there was the Unsub!!!! In the Radial projection it looked like one, but in the anti-radial projection it looked like two!! The first words that came to mind was “oh shit”!!! When he was finished with my scan, I was three patients behind Dexas. Fortunately the patients were not upset, it was super hard to concentrate at work knowing that my Ultrasound was going to be given a BiRad 4, meaning suspicious finding……BX recommend. After work, my daughter was at the movies, she knew I had my imaging done and had asked how it went? I didn’t want to worry her so I did not tell her. I worked till 7pm, making it 10pm in Cali. It was too late to call anyone. So what did I do? I composed an email to Dr. Marla Lander……..she was my lifeline. Dr. Lander is one of the Radiologist that works at the Palm Springs Comprehensive Cancer Center (CCC). I worked very close with Dr. Lander, assisting her with Needle Localizations, Ultrasound Guided Core Biopsies (USCBX), Stereotactic Core Biopsies (STCBX), etc. Even though I wasn’t talking to a person live or on the phone, it felt good to be able to tell someone.

August 7, 2015/Friday

Early morning after I turned my phone off of airplane mode (I do that cause of the time difference from the island/mainland). I checked my emails and she had already responded to my email. She gave a me several questions to consider when choosing where to have my biopsies. My ultrasound report recommended that both areas adjacent to each other be biopsied. The question was brought up as to why I don’t go have my biopsies where I worked, since I did not know the Rads at Maui Memorial Hospital or Maui Medical Group. Those two centers were my options for a biopsy here on Maui. The other would have been to fly to Oahu. So why fly to Oahu and have it done with Rads you don’t know?…….I made the choice to fly to Cali. I immediately reached out to my ex-supervisor at the CCC. With out hesitation she gave me some dates to choose from, insurance card was scanned and faxed, CD’s  of DX mammo and ultrasound were burned and sent express mail. I called my Maui supervisor, and again she made it possible for me to have the needed time off for this procedure. Later in the evening I took my daughter Jax to Tommy Bahamas for an appetizer and an “adult beverage”……..I told I needed a biopsy! I told her I was going to fly back to California to the CCC and have Dr. Lander do the biopsy. Of course she was frightened for me but said she would also travel back to Cali. The choice was made to keep our trip off of social media, as I did not want to worry anyone and have to explain why I was there. My husband, kids were sworn to secrecy!

Because of everything going on with my sister and her decision, I couldn’t handle dealing being involved  with that. I confided with select family as too why I would not be calling….I needed to stay focused and positive! Super hard to avoid phone calls from my mother, but I didn’t want to lie to her and tell her I was okay, she worries a lot about me, and there was no way I was going to tell here that I found an abnormality in by breast tissue and needed a BX! My mother was dealing with fact that my 55 year old sister decided not to have treatment. My mother was dealing with the fact that again she would have to endure the pain and heartache of out living one of your children. In 2007, my brother at the age of 47 passed from complications of diabetes. Therefore I could not tell my mother that I needed a biopsy……….deep down I knew it would be positive, but I was hopeful that it would be a fibroadenoma disguising itself as an ugly cancer. I saw the ultrasound image….I knew.